Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems that going out is no longer about having a drink, a bite and a bit of a chit chat. That’s too sophisticated now that we’ve managed to dwindle our attention span to a staggering minute or less. Thank you LCD screens for infiltrating bars, restaurants, clubs and heck even bakeries, clinics, garages and the like. Hail to the new era of 2D fix-me-ups only a glance away!
On a Sunday night, it’s hard enough to find a place at the bar and add to that the fact that we’re in the peak of football (soccer, for my Americans buds) season and you know from beforehand that your best bet is a corner somewhere behind the TV. Not that it matters, surely. Not to me, anyway. You see, I’ve started figuring out a pattern as regards football scheduling, but I’m still in the dark when it comes to specifics. I just don’t care that much. So when we went to a bar with live music last night and was told that there were big matches the whole day, I took it at face value. Proof of it was the wide expanse of green and the tiny dots of players running to and fro on the 42 incher above my head.
I planned to take sips of my drink, talk, observe and wait for the live music. My boyfriend and I pulled it off for the first 30 minutes or so; we gave nonchalant nods to the TV from time to time, if anything, to acknowledge its presence, but we stayed pretty focused. Until I glanced up to see an altogether unfamiliar setting that glued me to the screen.
The turf was in place, but no teams. The crowd was awaiting, but there weren’t any goal posts. It was broadcast on ESPN, but there wasn’t a score card. All you could see was a bouncing dog, multiple flying objects and a man or woman rolling on the ground with exuberance. What the hell? I know you are all thinking that this could be no other than the renowned sport of freestyle flying discs. What you’ve never heard of it? You don’t say…
I could not get my eyes off the screen; was this for real? A sport involving a dog, a master, white frisbees flying around and a crowd to top that combo?! Call me naive, but when did this become a sport? Let me rephrase: when did this become a sport broadcast on ESPN? And specifically broadcast in Cyprus, over cable TV. Surely it is a sport that must translate well transatlantically because I couldn’t get my eyes off this spectacle of energetic four-legged creatures jumping to all heights and lengths for that flying saucer.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, the competition changed to the extreme vertical. It’s exactly what you’re thinking, only worse. The dogs were encouraged to jump to their maximum potential to grab a toy bone suspended over a big swimming pool. The reward for getting or not getting the bone was still a cool dive into the pool. Surely some masochist designed this distorted game of fetch?
It was with some relative relief (and mild disappointment) that I welcomed the channel change back to the football game. The acronyms on the score board meant nothing to me, and the image was familiar and uninteresting. I focused on my drink and turned my attention towards the live act that was setting up, the whole time not being able to get those nerdy white socks of the trainers out of my mind.
In the next life, I hope I’m not a dog. Or worse than that, a dog jock.